The Marital Act, Cardinal Rule, and Pleasure Principles

For Couples
Written By James Walther, MA, ABS

Selections of Theology for Married Couples: Part 3

“In necessary things unity, in doubtful matters freedom, in all things charity.”
— St. Augustine of HIppo, Father and Doctor of the Church

Note on Methodology

As we continue this series on theology for married couples, I would like to make a note about my methodology. In general, I write these articles in much the same way that I would write a course or a lecture. For each topic, I will usually use one or two main sources, which I will flesh out with others. The purpose of this series is to give married couples a relatively concise, orthodox, and thorough guide to moral marital intimacy. Because of the goal to be concise, I do not cite every word that I write, I often summarize and develop the doctrines that are expressed in my sources. In doing so I am attempting to compress and explain dozens or even hundreds of pages of theological material into an article that you can read on your phone.

Statement of Fidelity

If there are any theologians reading this series who have any objections, comments, corrections, etc. I would ask that they address me directly via email. As always, I submit my writings to the review and correction of the Magisterium.

The Marital Act

The marital act is sexual intercourse (coitus) between a man and his wife. Sexual intercourse (coitus) is medically defined as “the act in which the external male reproductive organ—penis—enters the external/accessible female reproductive tract—vagina.”[1]

The Cardinal Rule

As Humanae Vitae teaches, “it is necessary that each and every marriage act remain ordered per se to the procreation of human life.”[2] Following the example of Dr. Popcak, I have referred to this as the One Rule.[3] Now, however, I prefer to refer to this as the “Cardinal Rule”. I have this preference because a cardinal rule is a rule upon which others depend, not to the exclusion of other rules. Calling the rule that every marital act must be open to procreation the “One Rule” gives the unfortunate impression that there are no other rules.

For the marital act to fulfill the above Cardinal rule, Tanquerey enumerates three things that must happen:

  1. Male ejaculation occurs in the vaginal cavity, 

  2. The semen is not removed from the vaginal cavity,

  3. Nothing is done by natural or artificial means to prevent fertilization. [4]

The first point prohibits onanism: the pull-and-pray method. The second prohibits barrier methods: condoms, diaphragms, etc. The third prohibits every other form of contraception, including hormonal contraceptive pills, implants, etc.

How Far Can We Go?

Contemporary caractures of the Church’s teachings on marital intimacy tend to two extremes that anything after marriage is allowed or that Catholics are puritans that aren’t allowed to enjoy sex. Both are wrong.

Tanquerey responds to the question of what is and is not licit for married couples with the following list:

  • Whatever is ordered to the generation of children is absolutely licit.

  • Whatever is not ordered to the generation of children, but is not opposed to the generation of children, does not exceed venial sin.

  • Whatever is opposed to the generation of children is mortally sinful.[5]

Now notice that Tanquerey puts things in terms of sin and the degree. This is because his manual was written for confessors. But we should not simply strive to avoid evil, we should strive to do good. 

Morality Marksmanship

Below you will see a visual aid that I have created to help us understand striving for virtue. There is an old saying: “Aim small, miss small.” That applies to the moral life as well as to marksmanship. For our analogy, let’s just say that we cannot completely miss the target. So we act without effort to direct our acts to a specific zone, we can expect that our acts will be mostly random. Now if we aim for the licit, then we get lucky and have a few virtuous acts, but probably also faults and venial sins. If, on the other hand, we shoot for virtue and practice, then we will likely stay generally in the range of licit and faulty, with sporadic venial sins.

To clarify, in case it isn’t already, white and green are morally licit (permissible), while red, orange, and yellow are illicit (unpermissible). You can think of fault as an accidental venial sin. I.e., something that would have been sinful, if it had been intentional. For example, premature ejaculation outside the vaginal cavity, when the intention was to ejaculate in the vaginal cavity. Also, not that every area, including virtue, is a range. In sexual morality, as everywhere else, there are usually more than one virtuous option and even saints will often act differently, although virtuously, in similar circumstances.

 

Now let’s apply Tanquerey’s list to this target.

  • Whatever is ordered to the generation of children is absolutely licit = green or white.

  • Whatever is not ordered to the generation of children, but is not opposed to the generation of children, does not exceed venial sin = green, white, yellow, or orange.

  • Whatever is opposed to the generation of children is mortally sinful = red.


So between those first two groups, we see a range from virtuous to venially sinful. Remember: aim small, miss small. But how are we to aim (discern) what is virtuous or at least licit when the Magisterium doesn’t exactly publish a manual of licit and illicit sexual practices? Well, if you know where to look, read Latin, and have the time there are resources that explain the principles. A few authors, including Pope John Paul II, Dr. Gregory Popcak, and Christopher West, have invested a great deal of time and effort into explaining and drawing out those principles in their books. We will be selling some of those books in the near future. For those that don’t have time to read 500+ page books on sexual morality, there is this blog. In an upcoming article, I plan on explicitly addressing questions about oral and anal sex, marital aids (toys), positions, and BDSM. 

The Four Pleasure Principles

Before we explicitly get into those sexual practices, I would like to share verbatim Dr. Popcak’s Four Pleasure Principles, which are very useful for discerning whether or not to give something a try in the bedroom.

  1. There should be continuity between your daily relationship and your sexual relationship.

  2. While you should never be afraid to explore all the permitted pleasures, you should never be tempted to see each other merely as givers and receivers of pleasure. You must always respect the dignity of each other as persons.

  3. Any sexual positions, items, articles of clothing, manners of speech, or playful actions used to help you achieve the fullness of sexual pleasure should be used in manner that helps you and your beloved draw closer to each other, not to the thing. Things should never become the primary point of the sexual relationship. Rather, they should be seen as the means you employ to experience the fullness of each other’s love.

  4. While a lover’s comfort zones should not be the final arbiter in sexual disputes, feelings related to comfort zones must be respected. A lover’s discomfort is reason enough to delay participating in some sensual activity, even if it is not enough to rule out entirely future participation in that activity. The couple should continue to evaluate all permitted pleasures in the light of the relationship and in a spirit of prayer. [6]

Blessed Memorial of All Souls.

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Footnotes

  1. Segen's Medical Dictionary, s.v. "sexual intercourse," retrieved October 31 2022 from https://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/sexual+intercourse.

  2. Paul VI, Encyclical Letter Humanae Vitae (July 25, 1968), 11, as cited in Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2nd ed. (Washington, DC: United States Catholic Conference, 2000), 2366. [The English translation on the Vatican website is not as accurate as the CCC translation.]

  3. Gregory K. Popcak, Holy Sex!: A Catholic Guide to Toe-Curling, Mind-Blowing, Infallible Loving (New York: Crossroads, 2008), Kindle, Chap 11.

  4. Adolphe Tanquerey, “Supplementum ad Tr. de Matrimonio,” in Synopsis Theologiæ Moralis et Pastoralis, vol. 1, De Pænitentia, De Matrimonio et Ordine, 9th ed. (Rome: Desclée & Co., 1922), n. 20. Hereafter, this text is abbreviated as STMP. [I will note that Tanquerey’s list was slightly different, but he did not have to account for modern hormonal birth control.]

  5. STMP, n. 30.

  6. Popcak, Holy Sex!, Kindle, Chap. 11.

Bibilography

James Walther, MA, ABS

James is a professional Catholic intimacy (relationship & sex) coach and theologian. He holds three degrees in theology from Holy Apostles College and Seminary and has done graduate studies in marriage and family therapy at Capella University. He is certified as an Apprentice in Sexology by the American Board of Sexology. His research interests include Catholic sexual ethics, the female orgasm, trauma, and the sacramentality of the minor orders. He is the translator of Yves Chiron’s Paul VI: The Divided Pope. He also serves in the Army National Guard.

https://linktr.ee/jamesbwalther
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