From Catholic sexual ethics to biology to foreplay to positions, Catholic Intimacy’s articles are a reference point for all your Catholic sexual queries.
Articles
The Marital Act as a Human Act
This lesson introduces moral theology in the context of marital intimacy, exploring St. Thomas Aquinas' distinction between human acts and acts of man. It covers the eight stages of a human act, the three moral elements (object, intention, and circumstances), and how ignorance and fear affect moral responsibility. Learners will gain a theological framework for ensuring intimacy aligns with God’s plan, fostering virtue, love, and unity in marriage.
Erotic Lactation: Sexy or Strange?
“My question is on the theme of breastfeeding (i.e., a husband orally drawing breast milk from his wife's breasts). I have seen the act called "adult breastfeeding" and even "erotic lactation" on secular sites.”
Catholic Teaching on the Female Orgasm
Despite mankind’s advances in medicine and research, the female orgasm remains quite a mystery both academically and practically. Some consider them as a pleasant, although unnecessary, side effect of sex, ignoring their importance in female sexual satisfaction and overall marital happiness (Dienberg et al., 2023). So what does the Church say about women’s orgasms?
Can Catholics Have Sex While Pregnant?
In general, yes, it is morally permissible for Catholics to have sex while the wife is pregnant. There are, however, exceptions and certain considerations that have to be made.
Masturbation in Marriage
Masturbation is per se (i.e., in and of itself) gravely sinful. This means that it is always sinful, including in marriage. Since we started Catholic Intimacy, many people have contacted me to ask whether one or another act was masturbatory or if masturbation would be allowed in x, y, or z situations. So, hopefully, if you are here with a question like that, this article will clarify things.
Getting Frisky: Incomplete Sexual Acts
From a Reader: Please help us in clarifying a long standing confusion. Is it sinful for spouses to orally and manually stimulate each other’s genitals while abstaining from full marital union?
Can Catholics Have Sex During the Wife’s Menstrual Period?
Historically, it was believed that children conceived during the menstrual period were usually, if not always, afflicted with blindness, lameness, leprosy, etc. Saint Thomas Aquinas writes that this ban was in place, not only for the ceremonial reason, but also because of the harm that would befall the children conceived.
Is Sex During Lent Sinful?
Right before Lent, both Megan and I noticed a little buzz in various Catholic Facebook groups about whether or not Catholics are allowed to have sex during Lent, on feast days, or fast days. It seems that most married couples understand that there are currently no formal Church disciplines concerning this matter, but some did seem sincerely confused as to the current practice.
The Moral Permissibility of Marital Aids, Oral and Anal Stimulation
Can Catholics do oral sex? Can Catholics do anal sex? Can Catholics use sex toys?
If you found this site because you did an internet search for one of those questions and want a short answer then here it is: it depends on what you mean by those terms.
The Marital Act, Cardinal Rule, and Pleasure Principles
“In necessary things unity, in doubtful matters freedom, in all things charity.” Augustine
As Humanae Vitae teaches, “it is necessary that each and every marriage act remain ordered per se to the procreation of human life.” Following the example of Dr. Popcak, I have referred to this as the One Rule. Now, however, I prefer to refer to this as the “Cardinal Rule”. I have this preference because a cardinal rule is a rule upon which others depend, not to the exclusion of other rules. Calling the rule that every marital act must be open to procreation the “One Rule” gives the unfortunate impression that there are no other rules.
Justice & Chastity: The Marriage Debt
In our modern, independent, self-centered world, the idea of another person having rights over someone else’s body is likely to elicit ideas of enslavement and abuse. It will likely come as a shock to many married Catholics that their marriage vows formed a contract by which they gave their spouse a right to sexual intercourse with them. This right to the marital act is called the marital debt (debitum nuptiale). Now whenever we are talking about a debt we are talking about something that pertains to the virtue of justice. If I have something that belongs to you and you ask for it, then in justice I am obligated to give it to you. So when we talk about paying the marriage debt, we are talking about fulfilling a duty in justice.
The Ends of Marriage & Graces
Catholic Intimacy is partially a response to the plethora of erroneous marriage resources claiming to be Catholic. On one side we have Jansenists, who think that they are traditional, and on the other we have liberals who are pure hedonists. Catholic theology on marriage falls well between these two extremes, unfortunately the Church’s teachings on the matter can be rather difficult to find, unless you read Latin and have access to old theological manuals. Fortunately for us, I do read Latin, I do have a collection of reputable manuals in my library, and I have over ten years of formation to know how to read them and explain them for you.
Can sex be meritorious?
When sex comes up in Catholic circles it is usually as something immoral (fornication, adultery, etc.) or as that fun thing that married couples do to make babies. It is much rarer to hear anyone say that sex can be meritorious. It’s as though most Catholics believe that even within the bonds of marriage sex is morally tolerated, i.e. a fault or morally indifferent, but not something that is pleasing to God. Let’s look more closely at what makes an act meritorious or sinful to better understand the marital act and what that means for our moral lives.